God put a fire in my heart when I was a young boy. I remember being curious about Him at an early age. There was a large, beautiful church at the end of my street, and even as a kid, something about it drew me in. I didn’t fully understand it then, but I can see it clearly now — God has been pursuing me my entire life.

There’s this deep sense that He has called me to Himself, and that there is an assignment connected to that calling. At the same time, there’s also a fear that lives in the depths of my heart — a doubt that continually tries to hold me back from what I believe God is asking me to step into. I swing between two extremes: “I will follow You anywhere,” and “You have the wrong guy.”

The lies come quickly. I have too much baggage. I’ve made too many mistakes. I’m not qualified to be used by God. And honestly, I don’t even know what all of this ultimately means yet — I just know the tension is real.

Lately, it feels like the enemy won’t let up. The attacks don’t seem random. They hit my confidence, my marriage, our finances, and sometimes my entire sense of purpose. And through all of it, I’m beginning to understand the weight of what Scripture actually teaches. This isn’t symbolic language. This is real life.

Cling to Jesus. Put on the full armor of God. Stand firm against the lies. Scripture warns us that we have an enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). It also reminds us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces at work behind the scenes (Ephesians 6:12). Jesus never promised an easy life — He promised that there would be battles (John 16:33).

So here I am. Trying to stay the course. Trying to remain faithful. Trying to finish strong.

And I can’t help but wonder — does anyone else feel this way?